My Personal Experience
It was about a month ago I was on the phone with my sister. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and now she say she ended her relationship with Shawn her bestrides since the fifth grade. Knowing that Darlene can sometimes be hasty in her decisions to end friendships rather than confront a problem (we once had a similar situation) I asked her if she was sure she was doing the right thing and had actually discussed this with Shawn. I remember the one time she confronting the robber meant unplugging my computer in the middle Of a research project and storming out of the apartment. )She assured me that she had and that surprisingly enough. Shawn agreed the friendship needed to be ended. It was hard she said. She pushed her two close friends away. But ,she added, she felt good. She felt strong and ready to grow in a new direction. While I was reflecting on this conversation. I thought about the friendships I have had in my life. Some were good, some bad. A few have lasted.
However, cost have fallen apart either due to lack of communication or lack of mood. Sometimes like the situation above both parties understand the break. I don’t regret much in my life and one of the things do not regret is saying goodbye in certain relationships/friendships. It is this aspect of friendships on which I will focus rather than the friends I still have or the friendships I wish I hadn’t severed. These expired relationships often teach us just as much as the other types. Friends should not belittle or emotionally abuse you and/or only give and tot take.
That is the reason several of my friendships have ended. There is also always the friends who take a separate path or resents you for taking yours. But whoever the reason friendships end. This is a good thing. Imagine all the emotional baggage, bad memories, and embarrassing people you would have to cart around with you forever. I have learned from the friendships I was in and how they taught me important lessons. I have learned that people might be as supportive and loving as possible but only do it for their own purposes. Melanie told me she ether be Monday’s friend.
I realized that some people only want friends when they need them and can control them. Another friend named Carry taught me that some values and decisions can not be overloaded. Sometimes two people change so much that they can not remain friends. Do get sad and statistical when remember some of these friendships. There are times that I dearly miss my high school days with Andy. There are times miss the sleepovers with Tanana. There are also times when I wish Melanie and I could have separated responsibilities and feelings.
However, when I get the emails that begin “l know we haven’t talked in two years but or when I remember the reason the friendship ended in the first place. I briefly consider rekindling the friendship and then more often than not, realize that these times in my life have ended for a reason. Have like Darlene well grown and changed. Have became stronger and more compassionate in my treatment of others. These friends of the past have given me this gift. I am also who I am today because of the friends I no longer have.